Most people would like their lives to be perfect before they
allow themselves self-acceptance. For example, we want to change our
weight before we accept our bodies. However, the truth is that
self-acceptance and
body acceptance are pivotal to lasting
weight loss
success and a lasting sense of fulfilment.
However,
self-acceptance and body love can be tough concepts to grasp and even
tougher to incorporate. The degree of difficulty doesn't seem to matter
if you are thin, very large, or somewhere in-between. It takes time and
persistence to create a new relationship between your self and your
body.
In a certain sense, building self-acceptance and body
acceptance can be compared to the
techniques required for creating a
homemade tapered candle. To make a tapered candle, you start with only
the wick and some hot wax. You first dip the wick into a vat of hot wax,
pull it out, and wait for it to dry. Initially, the wick is just a
string saturated with wax, but after a few dips, a very skinny taper
candle begins forming. Building a taper candle requires much patience
and you will need to dip and dry the taper many times before you form a
candle of the width you want.
This is how the process of
self-acceptance works. If you currently dislike your body, your body
parts, or your self, you begin with the wick, which represents your
desire to have a different relationship with yourself. You dip your
desire into a pot of new actions and choices. At first, you might not
notice much change. Yet each time you dip your wick of intention into
the pot, you coat your life with a new layer of self-acceptance. Like
the gradual layering of the wax upon the wick, you can create positive,
self-loving thoughts that begin to take hold and form shape.
Building
self-acceptance and body acceptance is a process that requires effort
and persistence. Here are six new ideas to build a new relationship with
your self and your body today!
Make Peace with Yourself
Here
is a newsflash: You do not have to believe everything you think! You do
not have to take action on your self-critical thoughts. Additionally,
you do not have to eliminate your self-critical or negative thoughts. By
the time you have thought certain thoughts, they are already gone.
Instead of aiming to be erase internal criticism, make your aim be the
conscious addition of new self-supporting thoughts into your personal
repertoire. Look into your heart and gather up some new ideas about
yourself. You know that your heart is kind and compassionate. Open it up
and let yourself have a little of your own love. Imagine yourself
drinking deeply, taking this love in, digesting and absorbing all this
love into your own physical
body.
Look in the Mirror
Make
the bold move to have heartfelt generosity for your body - before you
lose weight or before you have the perfect life. Of course, you are
going to hear your own objections of why you should not love your body.
Let those thoughts pass by and then . . . surrender. Mov
e through your
resistance and take this one little step to offer kindness to your body.
Take a moment to look into the mirror, affirm how good you are, and
admire and appreciate your courageousness. Look at everything you have -
tangible or intangible - and feel grateful for your physical life. Your
life may not be all good, but it is certainly not all bad either. Feel
how wonderful it just might feel to ease up on yourself, even though you
are not perfect or perfectly thin. Allow yourself to be clear that it
is a feeling of confidence and self-acceptance that you are really
wanting, not just the better body.
Live In The Now
When
you are waiting for something to occur, you are not focused on what is
occurring now. Yes, it is wonderful to be excited by the expectancy of
achieving your goals. It is wonderful to feel the excitement fill your
body as you imagine having what you want. However, it also necessary to
bring your joy into this now moment of your present life. Instead of
postponing your joy or pleasure, ask yourself how you can bring more
meaning or fullness into your life today. What practical actions could
you take that would make today better?
Accept What Is
For
most people, accepting their current physical body is the last thing
they want to consider. How can you accept something you want to change
or something you hate? You don't want to accept yourself right now.
Instead, you want to change yourself or escape from who you are.
However, there is no escape from anything. What you resist persists.
Only by allowing yourself to accept reality can you then create
something new. In other words, the only way out is through. The way to
achieve the body you want is first to find harmony with it. Your body is
not your enemy. Your body loves you and simply reflects your beliefs
and energy contained inside of it. Gently ask yourself, "What are the
feelings within me that have created this situation?" All along, soothe
yourself with a wisdom that reassures that you are now creating an
opportunity to know more about your heart, to know more about love.
Fake It Until You Make It
We
are all human and almost everyone's body has some perceived flaws or
imperfections. However, hating your body and negative self-talk is
destructive to your happiness and your goals. To form a better
relationship with your body, begin to talk to it. Tell it nice things,
tell it that it is doing a good job of being your body. At first, you
might resist, or you might not think you have anything nice to say to
your body. After all, you are still blaming it for making you feel so
badly. However, it is important to build this new relationship with
yourself. So being somewhere, even if you have to fake it. In
Alcoholic's Anonymous (AA) there is a saying, "Fake it until you make
it." Meaning, say and do the behaviors you wish to embody until they
become real. You could say, "Even though I don't like my body in this
current state, it is still my body and I choose to develop a new
relationship with it." You might not be able to say you love your body,
but you just might be able to call a truce. If you never begin, if you
never risk, you will never know the divine truth of who you really are.
Treat Your Body Well
When
you appreciate your body, you are able to work in partnership with it,
as opposed to fighting it. Learn to be in loving acceptance of your own
beauty. Allow for the possibility that you deserve what you have
requested, and you deserve to know and appreciate who you are. Take a
chance and begin to play on this Earth while you are in a physical body.
For example:
o Engage yourself in activities that lift you up. Let go of what pulls you down.
o Consciously seek out more experiences that feel good.
o Focus your eyes on what is optimistic more then on what is pessimistic.
o Laugh so hard tears come from your eyes.
o Dance and sing with wild abandon while listening to your favorite song.
o Tell yourself you are beautiful.
o Swing on a swing in the playground.
o Mail yourself a love letter.
o Clean out your closet and get rid of any clothes that don't fit you.
o Wear clothes that you feel good in.
o Develop a partnership with food.
o Fall in love with yourself.
When
you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new
life with new possibilities. By developing self-acceptance you empower
yourself to accomplish your goals and lead a richer, more rewarding
life. Practice the tips above and learn to unleash the love and success
you are looking for.